35: Emotional Stacking – Why Your Brain Collects Evidence Against You

00:00:00: Hello my love and welcome to a new episode of the Bayonne podcast.

00:00:04: I am so, so happy you're here!

00:00:06: And today i want to speak about something that quietly shapes almost every human life whether we are conscious or not.

00:00:15: This is emotions.

00:00:17: Not only emotions themselves but they way we build entire inner realities around them.

00:00:24: Because most people do not just feel an emotion once.

00:00:27: They continue feeding it, strengthening it collecting evidence for it building identity around It.

00:00:34: and you know what is interesting?

00:00:36: Once you begin to see this mechanism You cannot unsee it anymore because suddenly realize maybe the Emotion itself was never a whole problem Maybe they real thing.

00:00:48: shaping reality is what your mind and nervous system begin doing after the emotion appears.

00:00:55: And this is what I want to explore with you today!

00:00:58: So a few days ago, i had very deep conversation with woman inside one of my spaces A beautiful intelligent deeply conscious woman.

00:01:08: so life has opened something in her fear doubt sadness loneliness.

00:01:14: You know these moments, those moments where something shifts inside of you and you feel almost disconnected from yourself.

00:01:22: And what I noticed while listening to her was so interesting Every painful thought she had immediately began creating another painful thought every feeling begun searching for confirmation.

00:01:36: So one emotion started recruiting more emotions and suddenly her whole reality became organized around the original feeling.

00:01:45: so maybe you know this too, You feel lonely And suddenly everything in your life starts proving your loneliness.

00:01:52: Someone does not reply to a message quickly enough.

00:01:55: A friend canceled plans!

00:01:57: You see couple walking hand-in-hand.

00:02:00: You hear a sad song.

00:02:02: someone tells about their divorce and unconsciously your system begins collecting all of it as evidence.

00:02:10: Evidence that confirms yes, life is lonely Yes something is missing I am alone.

00:02:15: And the fascinating thing is most people do not even notice.

00:02:19: they are doing this because It feels true.

00:02:22: But here's what nobody tells you Your brain Is NOT showing a reality!

00:02:27: IT IS SHOWING YOU A CASE FILE.

00:02:30: IT BUILD AGAINST YOU.

00:02:32: So every moment Every scroll Every glance at your phone, filtered through one single verdict you're nervous system already decided on.

00:02:40: And the terrifying part?

00:02:42: It feels completely undeniable and true because when you are in it there is no label on it.

00:02:49: There's no little voice saying hey this just an emotion doing its job!

00:02:54: It just feel like This Is My Life This Who I Am This What Is Real.

00:03:00: But what if it is not?

00:03:03: What if your nervous system is not a mirror, but the prosecutor?

00:03:07: One that already decided on the verdict and now collecting every piece of evidence to prove it.

00:03:14: This what I call emotional stacking.

00:03:17: And once you see really see it You cannot unsee It Not just with loneliness Also fear rejection shame With feeling good enough with feeling unseen, with feeling abandoned.

00:03:33: An emotion appears and then the mind starts building.

00:03:37: stacking collecting connecting expanding until the emotional longer feels like a passing experience what usually an emotion should be but it feels like reality itself.

00:03:49: And this is where suffering becomes so heavy.

00:03:52: maybe its even were suffering actually start Because we unknowingly keep feeding the original emotion, rehearse it emotionally, re-repeat it mentally.

00:04:02: We strengthen it energetically and then of course The emotion becomes stronger in our body because attention feeds energy And whatever your nervous system repeatedly rehearses begins to feel increasingly real.

00:04:16: But here's another fascinating part!

00:04:18: We also know this mechanism In a completely opposite direction.

00:04:22: Think off falling in love.

00:04:25: When you're deeply in love life suddenly feels magical.

00:04:29: You wake up excited, everything feels lighter your body feels more alive... ...you spend extra time getting ready because you cannot wait to see this person again!

00:04:38: You walk through the world glowing and then something interesting happens Life suddenly starts feeling full of beautiful things.

00:04:47: Your friend sends a loving message, your mother invites for lunch ,your colleague compliments The sun feels warmer, you notice flowers and laugh more easily.

00:04:57: And what is happening here?

00:04:59: You are stacking emotions again!

00:05:02: Only this time your nervous system is collecting evidence for joy... ...for beauty… for connection to a life-ness.

00:05:08: Everything becomes part of the emotional field that you're already inhabiting.

00:05:13: This is so important to understand – the mechanism itself is neutral.

00:05:18: Your nervous system constantly organizes reality emotionally.

00:05:22: So the question is simply, what reality is it reinforcing?

00:05:27: And here's something I find so interesting.

00:05:30: Most people are absolute masters at emotional stacking suffering but they feel uncomfortable emotionally stacking joy.

00:05:38: We're trained for one much more than the other.

00:05:42: Think about that.

00:05:43: When someone says i feel exhausted or overwhelmed and anxious Society immediately knows how to join.

00:05:53: Oh, yes!

00:05:53: I understand the world is difficult right now.

00:05:56: everything so stressful also in my life.

00:05:59: oh Yes Life Is So Hard.

00:06:00: i feel it too and suddenly everyone is emotionally stacking together.

00:06:05: fear on fears stress and stress pain-on-pain.

00:06:08: you can even see this in media constantly drama stacking fear stacking outrage stacking.

00:06:14: humanity has become incredibly skilled at rehearsing emotional heaviness but joy, wonder celebrating tiny beautiful moments.

00:06:24: most people almost feel embarrassed doing that for too long because it feels exaggerated.

00:06:30: Too much naive performative and yet this is exactly the emotional direction that changes your energetic reality.

00:06:39: so now let me be very clear listen carefully.

00:06:42: This is not about denying pain at all.

00:06:47: It's just not about pretending difficult emotions do NOT exist, this would not be consciousness!

00:06:54: If you're grieving... You are grieving….

00:06:57: If your heart broken.. Your heart broken….

00:07:00: If fear is moving through your body then Fear is moving though your body.

00:07:05: This isn't about becoming fake positive but here is where it gets important.

00:07:10: There's a moment, the tiny almost invisible moment that most people never catch.

00:07:16: It happens right after the emotional rives and in that moment there are two roads you can take.

00:07:23: Road one is... You feel it?

00:07:25: ...you let it move through YOU!

00:07:27: And you do not make it mean everything.

00:07:29: Road number TWO is The Emotional Rives….

00:07:32: …and your mind whispers

00:07:34: See?!

00:07:34: This just who you

00:07:35: ARE!!!

00:07:37: And you start building stacking collecting connecting, until the feeling becomes a story.

00:07:44: And this story become an identity and the identity is only thing you can see – that's the difference!

00:07:51: Not whether your feel pain but whether you BECOME it….

00:07:55: That' s the difference because there are huge differences between I feel sadness moving through me today & my whole life as sad.

00:08:03: nothing works everything is heavy.

00:08:06: i will always fill this way one is emotion The other is emotional architecture.

00:08:12: And this awareness changes everything because once you notice the mechanisms, You gain choice!

00:08:18: You begin noticing oh I am feeding this right now i'm collecting evidence again... I am emotionally rehearsing this story and suddenly you can interrupt a pattern by consciously choosing to reconnect yourself To another emotional reality that also exists maybe through beauty Maybe through gratitude or connection, our presence.

00:08:41: May be though noticing one genuinely beautiful thing in your day and allowing yourself to fully feel that And I know this can feels super unfamiliar at first even unnatural Because most of us were never taught too deeply nourished joy.

00:08:57: You are taught to analyze pain To explain paint justify a pain to repeat pain but joy Joy often receives only seconds of our attention before the nervous system moves on again.

00:09:09: And this is why many people unconsciously become more practiced in suffering than actually receiving life deeply and fully.

00:09:18: So what would happen if you began emotionally stacking differently from today?

00:09:23: What have you actually allowed beautiful moments to really matter?

00:09:27: What if you let one moment of connection open your heart further instead immediately preparing for disappointment again?

00:09:35: what If You Let Your Nervous System Collect Evidence For Safety, For Love, For Beauty, For Support.

00:09:41: For Life Working With You Instead Of Against You.

00:09:45: Because The Truth Is – Your Emotional State is constantly calibrating a relationship with reality And no amount of external success can replace this inner calibration, not money nor recognition or achievement.

00:10:00: Not love from another person!

00:10:02: Nothing outside you can permanently create a feeling inside that you are unwilling to cultivate within yourself in the first place.

00:10:12: and I say it with so much love & compassion Because I truly believe many people spend their lives waiting for external reality to finally give them permission, To feel worthy.

00:10:24: To feel safe.

00:10:24: important level and enough.

00:10:26: But if you do not know how to emotionally connect those feelings within yourself External Reality will never fully satisfy that hunger.

00:10:37: There'll always be another achievement needed Another validation needed Another person!

00:10:42: Another proof needed And eventually, you realize the real work was never only external creation.

00:10:50: The Real Work was learning how to inhabit a different emotional reality from within!

00:10:55: So today I want to invite you into a simple practice.

00:10:59: Notice what your Emotionally stack throughout your day.

00:11:04: Notice What Your mind keeps collecting evidence for.

00:11:08: Is your nervous system constantly proving life is stressful?

00:11:12: People disappoint me, I am alone.

00:11:14: Nothing works!

00:11:15: I'm behind or...is it learning to recognize there's beauty here?

00:11:20: There

00:11:20: support?!

00:11:21: There is love in my life!

00:11:24: There is possibility here!

00:11:26: There still something good available today.

00:11:31: Your attention is creative And whatever you repeatedly emotionally rehearse becomes easier for your system to experience again.

00:11:41: So maybe today celebrate something small, really celebrate it!

00:11:46: A beautiful conversation or a moment of peace?

00:11:50: Maybe the way sunlight entered into room... ...a kind message from your friend… …a good meal you had – your healthy body, breath and laughter….

00:12:01: The person who loves you, the stranger who smelled at your feeling of being alive.

00:12:06: Let it matter and let it land!

00:12:08: Let your nervous system stay there a little longer than usual because this is how emotional reality slowly changes not through force but through repeated energetic orientation.

00:12:23: So my love I want to leave with that question What emotions are you rehearsing most often?

00:12:30: And even deeper, what reality are those emotions teaching your nervous system to expect?

00:12:37: Sit with that.

00:12:38: Observe yourself gently without judgment because awareness itself already changes the field and With this we already come to an end of this episode.

00:12:51: If this episode resonated with you I would love to hear from You tell me where do you notice emotional stacking in Your own life And where are you ready to begin feeding a different emotional reality?

00:13:04: Thank You so much for being here, thank you for listening and I am sending you so much love.

00:13:10: See you very soon in the next episode!

00:13:13: Yours Michelle.