31: How to Meet Challenges Without Losing Yourself

00:00:00: Hello my love and welcome to a new episode.

00:00:04: I am so happy you're here today, i want to speak about something we all know which is challenges those moments where life does not move the way we wanted it to move.

00:00:17: Those moments were.

00:00:19: Something happens And suddenly your whole inner world shifts...and The question I receive So often Is What do I Do in those Moments?

00:00:29: What do I do when i fall out of my energy?

00:00:33: what Do, I do When.

00:00:34: I don't know all the spiritual concepts All The mindset tools all the energetic principles but then life happens and they am suddenly not aligned at all.

00:00:46: And this is such an important question because it's easy to feel conscious when everything Is going well.

00:00:53: But your real energetic practice begins in a moment where something challenges you Because those moments reveal something.

00:01:00: They reveal who you become when life touches your wound, and this is what I want to explore with you today because the challenge itself so often not a real challenge The real challenges will be common sight of it?

00:01:18: The real question is NOT WHAT IS HAPPENING!

00:01:21: Most people believe that problem as situation pain conflict The delay, the loss.

00:01:27: Disappointment, diagnosis and uncertainty.

00:01:30: And of course on a human level these things matter.

00:01:34: I am not here to bypass your humanity.

00:01:37: If you are grieving You're grieving.

00:01:39: if in pain or in pain Or angry or angry Something hurts It hurts.

00:01:45: Of course This is about pretending that everything is fine But there's deep regression.

00:01:54: The question is not only what's happening, the deeper question is who am I becoming in response to this?

00:02:02: Because THIS IS where your power is.

00:02:05: Your power lives between what happens and how you respond And most people never enter that moment consciously.

00:02:14: They jump straight from stimulus to reaction.

00:02:17: Something happens and immediately all programs start running.

00:02:21: He is late, she did not reply.

00:02:23: The pain is back the money's not there... ...the plan changed and before you know it You're no longer in that present moment!

00:02:30: You are inside a story And the story is where we lose ourselves.

00:02:35: A challenge becomes heavier when the mind turns into an identity.

00:02:40: So let me explain this.

00:02:41: Something happens At first its just an event.

00:02:45: Your partner is thirty minutes late, your body hurts.

00:02:47: The client says no A friend counsels maybe or meeting.

00:02:51: you feel anxious whatever But then the mind begins to build a story around it.

00:02:57: Well he does not respect me.

00:02:59: this always happens to be my body Always fails me.

00:03:04: I can never trust anyone and suddenly You're no longer just experiencing a moment?

00:03:10: You becoming someone inside that moment.

00:03:14: So you're becoming the abundant one, that disrespected one.

00:03:17: The sick one...the unlucky one.

00:03:20: and this is where suffering multiplies.

00:03:23: because now your not only dealing with a situation You are dealing With an entire identity That has been activated.

00:03:30: And that identity Has memories It has evidence it has old wounds..it has A full archive of every moment that ever felt similar.

00:03:40: And this is why a small situation can suddenly feel enormous, because you're not only reacting to now.

00:03:49: You are reacting.

00:03:50: every old version of YOU that still believes this moment means something about your birth and the ego loves evidence!

00:04:00: So let us take very simple example... You cook beautiful dinner, put love into it, prepare table… you were excited And then your partner comes home thirty minutes late without telling you.

00:04:14: Now the conscious version of YOU could simply notice, well I feel hurt...I feel disappointed!

00:04:21: I would have liked communication but often that is not what happens first.

00:04:26: What happens first?

00:04:27: Is the ego enters a room and the ego says are you

00:04:31: serious?!

00:04:32: This so

00:04:33: disrespectful!!

00:04:34: I cooked for you.

00:04:35: You do not value me.

00:04:37: Actually, now that I think about it this is NOT the first time you always do this!

00:04:42: YOU NEVER CONSIDER ME!

00:04:44: I'm ALWAYS THE ONE WHO GIVES MORE.

00:04:46: THIS RELATIONSHIP IS SO UNFAIR!

00:04:48: So what's happening here?

00:04:49: Is...that you're not speaking to your partner anymore.

00:04:53: You are actually speaking TO YOUR WOND And your wound is trying to win a case.

00:04:59: That is what the ego does.

00:05:00: The EGO gathers evidence It goes into the past and collects everything that proves your pain is justified.

00:05:09: And in a way, it may be justified!

00:05:11: Maybe you do need more respect... maybe this pattern does NEED to be addressed?

00:05:16: But the question is… Do YOU want to address from your wound or awareness?

00:05:22: Because those two energies create completely different realities.

00:05:27: When you address them from their wounds You attack.

00:05:31: When you address it from awareness, you reveal.

00:05:34: when You address It From The Wound the other person usually defends... ...when You Address It From Awareness.. ..the Other Person has a much higher chance of actually hearing you.

00:05:45: so this does not mean you become quiet or that you tolerate behavior That Hurts You Not At All.

00:05:51: Awareness Does NOT Make You Passive.

00:05:54: Awareness Makes You Precise.

00:05:58: So What Could You Do In That Moment?

00:06:02: You pause.

00:06:04: Just long enough to find yourself again, you take a breath and notice wow I'm really angry right now And then go one layer deeper...I feel hurt!

00:06:15: I feel unseen.. I feel disrespected....and i felt like my effort did not matter.

00:06:22: This is the sacred pause.

00:06:25: The sacred pause is the moment where you stop being swallowed by the emotion and start witnessing it.

00:06:34: You do not suppress the anger, you don't shame yourself for having it... ...you simply create a little bit of space around it.

00:06:43: And in that space you remember I am NOT ONLY this Anger!

00:06:47: I'm the one who can observe the anger….

00:06:50: …and this changes everything Because the moment you can observe a feeling, your no longer completely identified with it.

00:06:59: You have returned to consciousness and return to choice.

00:07:03: And from choice...you communicate differently.

00:07:07: Instead of saying that you are so disrespectful or you never care about me I am sick of this..You might say Hey!

00:07:15: I felt really hurt when came home late without telling Me.

00:07:19: ..I cooked for us ...and was looking forward to evening.

00:07:22: I also noticed that i was worried.

00:07:24: Can you tell me what happened?

00:07:27: Do you feel the difference ?

00:07:29: The first version creates a war, and this is not because second version is weaker.

00:07:37: it's actually much stronger Because It does not abandon your truth!

00:07:42: It simply removes poison from delivery.

00:07:45: And This one of the central principles for energetic work.

00:07:49: you are not here to become reactionless.

00:07:51: You're here to be conscious in your reactions so they can become

00:07:55: actions.".

00:07:56: There's a huge difference between reaction and action, And Reaction comes from the old wound.

00:08:03: Action comes from that present moment.

00:08:06: Reaction says I have no choice.

00:08:09: This is just who i am when im hurt.

00:08:11: And action says I feel hurt.

00:08:16: Reaction repeats the past, action opens a new future.

00:08:21: This is how you begin to shift timelines by choosing differently in the smallest moments because your future is created by the identity that you choose.

00:08:30: when life gives you evidence for an old one.

00:08:33: this is energetic coding and daily life.

00:08:36: so now I want bring it into another example physical pain.

00:08:42: before i continue say very clearly This is not about denying pain.

00:08:49: Your body is sacred and your body deserves care, but after working with many people around pain I have seen something important.

00:08:59: So there's the pain itself And then There are identity that can form around the pain.

00:09:06: These aren't same things.

00:09:08: The pain may be real But the identity says i am a person in pain My life limited.

00:09:15: I cannot do this, i can not go here.

00:09:17: I always suffer my body is against me.

00:09:20: This just who am now And slowly the pain does not only live in your body anymore.

00:09:26: It begins to organize that whole life.

00:09:29: So before saying yes an invitation you ask a pain Before planning something beautiful You asked a pain , before feeling joy You Asked A Pain.

00:09:38: Before imagining your future You Ask The Pain And again, I say this with so much compassion.

00:09:45: Because when you're in a real pain of course it affects your life but there is the difference between honoring your body and handing your entire identity to the pain.

00:09:57: There's a difference between saying my body needs care today and saying i am my pain.

00:10:03: This distinction is everything because if your whole self-image becomes built around pain then healing, or even moments of joy can start to feel unfamiliar.

00:10:16: Sometimes people unconsciously stay attached to pain because without it they do not know who they are!

00:10:23: Who am I if i'm no longer the one that suffers?

00:10:27: Who am i when everyone worries about me?

00:10:31: Who is my pain in the center of every conversation?

00:10:39: than this limitation.

00:10:41: So these are deep questions and they require tenderness, not judgment but awareness.

00:10:49: so the question becomes who are you outside of this pain?

00:10:54: Who are you out side of this conflict ?

00:10:57: Who Are You Outside Of This Fear?

00:10:59: Who Are Ya Outside This Grief?

00:11:02: Who ARE YOU OUTSIDE THE THING THAT CURRENTLY FEELS SO BIG because you're still there Even when you're in pain, there's a part of you that is not pain.

00:11:12: even if your griefing... ...there are parts for which it isn't destroyed!

00:11:16: Even though you're angry,... ...there will be some part of the anger.

00:11:23: So even when fear is loud.... ...there'll still be some space.

00:11:27: and why aren't they connected?

00:11:29: Your practice is to return to exactly this part again & Again.

00:11:35: You might say yes, this pain is here today and I am still available for beauty.

00:11:40: Yes, I feel grief.

00:11:42: I am still available for breathing.

00:11:44: yes, I will fear and then we're still available.

00:11:47: four one a line step.

00:11:49: Yes, they feel anger But I'm still available from conscious communication.

00:11:56: And this is not denial it's sovereignty.

00:11:58: you are no longer letting one emotion once sensational One single situation become the entire definition of who you are?

00:12:06: You are expanding beyond that.

00:12:10: So let me give you a simple practice, You can take into your day.

00:12:14: The first step is always noticing it.

00:12:18: Notice what's happening inside of you Not just the situation outside but movement inside.

00:12:25: Something like.

00:12:26: I notice anger I notice fear and sadness.

00:12:31: I noticed story that i am not respected.

00:12:34: I noticed stories that are powerless that this will never change.

00:12:41: The second step is separate, create space between you and the feeling.

00:12:48: instead of saying I am angry.

00:12:50: You could say anger is moving through me.

00:12:53: Instead of saying i'm afraid ,you can say fear is present in my system right now.

00:12:59: .Instead of saying ''I AM IN PAIN'' you could say My body's experiencing pain And I am here with it.

00:13:07: So language matters because language codes identity.

00:13:11: Every time you say I am, You're speaking creation into your system.

00:13:16: So be mindful what you attach to the words I Am.

00:13:21: The third step is choose.

00:13:23: Ask yourself who do i want to Be with this not how they'll make This disappear immediately But Who Do I Choose To Become Right Now?

00:13:33: Do I choose to become a woman who attacks or A Woman Who Communicates Clearly?

00:13:39: Do I choose to become the woman who collapses?

00:13:43: Or a woman that takes one gentle step.

00:13:46: Do I chose to be the women who identifies with old stories or open new ones?

00:13:54: Notice separate, choose.

00:13:57: This is how you begin your energy back.

00:14:00: So then your awareness becomes a bridge and this beautiful part of it Because when you become more conscious inside challenges You do not only change your own reality, you also become a bridge for other people.

00:14:15: When you are in conflict and the other person is unconscious but bring awareness into their room – The whole field changes!

00:14:23: You don't have to control them or teach them… You do NOT have.

00:14:28: make them spiritual … But Your presence becomes the teaching….

00:14:33: Your nervous system says we DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO WAR HERE.

00:14:38: Your words say you can tell the truth without destroying connection.

00:14:43: Your energy says, hey there's another way and this is so powerful!

00:14:48: This why people feel safe around conscious people because they know how to hold what they feel without throwing it at everyone else.

00:15:00: They know How To Stay Present And Create Space And this is the kind of power I believe that world needs.

00:15:11: People who can meet life with awareness, people who feel deeply and still choose clearly... ...people who cannot be challenged without abandoning themselves!

00:15:24: So today i want to invite you practice it in your real-life not only when the candle is burning but also when someone feels peaceful When your body feels uncomfortable, when you receive a message that activates you, practice is in the small moments.

00:15:42: Because the small moment are where your identity is coded.

00:15:45: The Small Moments Are Where Your Future Self Is Built.

00:15:49: And every time you pause Every Time You Notice Every Time you separate yourself from all reaction and choose again... ...you're telling your system hey we do not live form the old program anymore.

00:16:02: We are available for a new way.

00:16:23: Who am I becoming inside this challenge?

00:16:34: And maybe even deeper, who would I be if i did not make the challenge my identity.

00:16:40: Let this question work in you!

00:16:43: and If this episode moved something into your mind ,I'd love to hear from you.

00:16:48: Tell me where are you practicing the sacred pause.

00:16:52: tell me what is learning to meet life differently.

00:16:55: Tell me where you're beginning to notice that.

00:16:57: You are not the anger, Not a fear nor the pain or story but the consciousness That can hold all of it.

00:17:05: and hey If you have not yet rated this podcast It would mean so much To Me if you took A moment to do that?

00:17:13: It helps This work reach more people who Are ready to live in More awareness more energy more choice at more truth.

00:17:20: Thank you for being here, thank you for listening and I am sending so much love.

00:17:26: See you very soon in the next episode!

00:17:28: Yours Michelle.